BV40 Public Speaking Sucks

I've never been one for public speakin'. Not sure if it's the nerves, the inexperience I have with puttin' my thoughts t'words, or me thinkin' nobody cares. But it sucks.

What is this place anyway? A conference room? Is this where the big decisions are made? I told FengRi that I had an idea about gettin' supplies, an' he said this would be the place t'talk about it. Now we're all here.

One long slender table fills up the whole space. A buncha chairs're all lined up around it. Some extra chairs're lined up along the walls. I'm standin' at the head of the table. The faces I see sittin' before me are familiar. It's the same group that made me captain.

Kal-Artang's burly, yeti lookin', behemoth actin' self sits poised an' attentive. Like some ol' military man. Straight posture. Harsh wrinkles along his face from the stone cold glare he gives me.

Rutra, sittin' across from him, is the exact opposite. Sittin' back all slouched over. Got his legs propped up on the table as he leans back in his chair. His hands is behind his head. Dude looks like the laziest, unattentive slob t'ever exist right now. But in spite of all that, his bug eyes are still fixed my way.

To Kal's right sits Scion. His arms is resting out in front of him, while his hands is clenched together atop the table. He don't look as menacin' as Kal, or as lazy as Rutra. He's got his own, inquisitive look, like he's actually interested in hearin' me out. That almost makes me feel at ease with goin' on about this.

Almost.

But what really calms my nerves is seein' Mera a coupla chairs down. I sorta rehearsed this speech with her beforehand. She sits in almost the same manner as Kal: strong, uptight, altogether weird an' proper.

“As we're all painfully aware of,” FengRi stands out in front of me, addressin' the small group. “We're a far cry from the magnificent fleet we once were. Our numbers are abysmal. As far as we know—as far as we're concerned—we're the only ship remaining. And we're a broken one at that. Something has to be done. We can't sit here drifting in space, hoping something will turn up. We need to take action.”

“Yes FengRi,” Scion interupts. “We've had this discussion many times before. And like before, allow me to remind you that before we take a more proactive approach to recovery—at least in the manner that I know you're implying—we need to at least take stock of the condition we're currently in.”

“Yes, yes. Of course. We need to continue assessing the ship, assessing the crew, and patching up everything. This is true, but we still need supplies. We need food. We need parts. We need –”

“Why don't we listen to what the captain has to say,” Kal says.

FengRi pauses with his mouth open. After shutting it, I can almost hear him snarl as he looks at me. Then he rolls his eyes an' says, “Yes, of course. The captain has words. Please, speak. Enlighten us with your thoughts on the matter.”

Jus' when I thought I was cool with all this, a wave of somethin' hits me all over. I feel my heart tryna bust its way outta my chest. The looks on everyones' faces look at least ten times more exaggerated than they really are. I notice my breathin' deepening. I feel like I'm under attack. Like I'm fightin' dat navy blue knight dude again. This is terrible.

Straight up terrible.

Breathe.

Inhale.

Exhale.

Inhale.

Exhale.

Now remember what you rehearsed.

Better?

Inhale.

“So yeah,” I start out. “FengRi's right. We gotta do somethin'. It don't take no genius t'realize that. The ship's broke. We need t'fix it. An' the only way t'do that is with parts. I guess we could try an' cannibalize parts of the ship t'save the other—we sorta already did that—but I don't think that's gonna cut it.”

I pause t'take in the tone of the room. It's weird. All eyes is on me. I'm half wishin' that they stop payin' attention t'me so I can do my thing. My heart's still drummin', an' I can hear it over everything. It's the only thing I hear, an' I'm wonderin' why none of them seem t'hear it.

Then it hits me.

The room is actually quiet. As in, the only reason it's quiet is cuz I ain't talkin' right now. So I panic. Then I inhale. Then I go on.

“An' not t'mention the crew. I been walkin' the halls. Not everyone's in a good place. Lemme rephrase. Ain't no one in a good place. I done heard talk of people sayin' they gon' quit. As in abandon ship, leave it t'rot, an' be on they way. Honestly, I can't even blame 'em. There ain't nothin' here for 'em right now. So we gotta do somethin'—anything—t'get a handle on things. Somethin' proactive. At the very least t'build the morale.”

“Yes!” FengRi really liked that. Managed t'win him over. This is good. Essentially said what he's been tryna say, 'cept better. This is good. Jus' like I rehearsed. “This is exactly what I've been saying,” he adds in. “We can't just sit here examining how bad we are, when we already know that we're in bad shape. The captain is right!”

“But don't get it twisted,” I interject. “Scion's right, too. We're in no shape t'be doin' any raidin' neither. We found out the cops is all on the lookout. They got travel on lockdown. Our tortured prisoners tol' us that. An' that gamble with the planet? We all know how that worked out. So whatever 'proactive' measures we take can't involve risk of any kind.”

“A very astute point,” Scion remarks. “And it mirrors my own. This is why I find it best to truly assess the condition of our ship before making any move. Once we assess our status, find out where we stand for certain, we can then assess how much of a risk we can actually take.”

“And that makes sense,” I respond. “It really does, but again, that's ignorin' the crew. We're still people. We still gotta eat. Before the cops jumped us, we was already barely makin' it. That raid failed. We're still hungry. No tellin' when the food in the mess hall's gone completely.”

“Cut to tha chase already!” Rutra shouts out. “What's the plan?” He kinda trips me up. Wasn't expectin' it. It's all good. Jus' gotta breathe. Stay on rhythm. Inhale.

“Well, yeah. Y'see,” it's cool. I'm still in this. “Yeah. Uh, well we need a raid. Desperately. But we can't raid like we used to, cuz there's too much risk involved. So I was thinkin' – Why not raid a ship that's already been raided?”

A lot of puzz'd looks right now. Rutra's face is especially obvious. With his mouth gapped open, an' junk. I still got their attention, doe, so it's jus' a matter of bringin' it home.

“I mean—an' hear me out on this—jus' lookin' back, when you guys came on me an' Carlos's ship, I know for a fact y'all didn't take everything worth somethin'. In fact, y'all tried t'blow the stuff up.”

“Pretty sure we did blow it up,” Rutra adds in.

“Yeah, you did, but the whole thing? There's no tellin' all the goodies out there that happened t'survive the explosion, an' as far as anyone knows, it's jus' sittin' there, floatin' endlessly with no place t'go.”

“So you propose that we go back?” Scion asks. “Raid the already raided? Look for dead ships?”

It goes quiet for a moment. This is the moment I was most afraid of. See, I done tol' 'em the plan, but I don't even know if it's a good one. It might be good. Mera called it desperate. No tellin' what these dudes'll think of it.

“That's the stupidest thing I ever heard!” Rutra exclaims. “Do we even know where we left it? And who's to say it's even there? It's been a while, and inertia is definitely a thing.”

“Actually,” FengRi utters. “We do have a log somewhere of the various places we've traversed. It was mostly so we could chart out spots where local law enforcement are likely to strike.”

“That's good,” Mera finally chimes in. This is the support that I need. “Maybe if we reevaluated with the previous raids in mind, we might be able to find nearby warpgates to camp around.”

“But,” Kal-Artang starts out. “Who's to say the cops won't be around those warp gates, too? What if somehow word got out that pirates were in that particular spot? Surely, they'd do well to add to their numbers and defend that spot.”

“Since when have we ever left witnesses?” Mera responds. “We either kill everyone on board or enlist them in our crew. Word doesn't get out.”

Oh that's why they do that. Hmm. So I guess all those people I helped hide while a raid was goin' on might end up snitchin'. Oops. Should prolly change the subject.

“Look, it was just a thought,” I say. “We don't really gotta go through with it.”

“No, I think it's worth pursuing,” Scion says. “We'll try it. Since you brought up your old ship, we'll start there. Depending on how this turns out, this may be the answer to all of our prayers.”

*/

After checking the logs, it was insanely easy pinpointing the general vicinity of all our raids. Mostly because our raids happened by neighborin' warp gates, an' the notes taken about where cops like t'hide out proved t'be especially useful.

One warp jump later, an' we here.

It looks like space. All the video screens in the bridge I'm in make that abundantly clear. There's space, an' not much more. Not seein' my old ship on display makes me uneasy. The  rest of the crew looks like they carryin' on without much of a hitch, but me?

I can feel my heart race again. My eyes move rapidly back an' forth at everything. I make my way over t'get a closer look at one of the screens off t'the side. The more I look at the distant star clusters I see, the more antsy I get. I think I'm tappin' my finger along the table I'm leanin' over. Then I feel a tap on my shoulder. At first, I think it's jus' a twitch my body's doin', but when I hear a voice attached to it,

“Is that it?”  FengRi says from behind me. Turnin' t'him, I see him point at an adjacent screen. On it, sure enough, is my old home.

A wave of relief washes over me as I sigh. My shoulders loosen, my heart steadies – Think I even crack a smile.

“Yup,” I say. “Sho' is.”

*/

The old ship's jus' as we—an' by we, I mean I, an' the pirates who kidnapped me—left it. It's toe up an' broke down. But that don't stop it from bein' a huge ship, doe. I mean huge. Still don't think I got the whole story behind how Ran an' Carlos got their hands on it. It's pointed out to me that even among Cruiser ships, this one is impressive.

I'm decked out in my AdaptiveWear undersuit, a fullbody oversuit, an' my tricked out space helmet. Got my sword an' its magnetic hilt along my back. The boots I'm wearin' are magnetic, too. Me, an' a good bit of the crew step out along the floatin' Cruiser's surface. Each step feels like it's weighed down. There's no sound in space, but my mind imagines a heavy clunk t'go along with it.

We pass by a small device latched on t'the ship's framework. Rutra, in his fullbody spacesuit, walks up t'it, kneels down, an' says, “I remember plantin' this here.” His voice carries over the built-in mic his helmet has. The buzzin' undertone he has comes along with it. Even though my helmet muffles the communication a bit, he's still as annoyin' as ever. He looks over t'me an' says, “Careful not ta disturb things too bad. This bomb's still active.”

“Why don't you disarm it?” I ask.

“Oh, I'm not touchin' that. It's set ta go off as soon as it's disturbed. There's probably a couple more layin' around here, too. It's a big ship.”

“I found the hatch!” FengRi says a lil' ways down the way.

We all make our way t'the open hood, an' fall in. Rutra's the last one in, an' he shuts the door behind him.

Jus' standin' here, the old ship looks like how I remember it. Didn't realize it made that much of an impression on me at the time, but I guess it did. This same hall. These same floors. These same walls.

“So what's the plan?” Mera asks.

The rest of the crew looks at me, all gathered around an' junk. We kept the group small. It's jus' the core peeps: me, Mera, Rutra, an' FengRi. The idea was jus' t'scope the place out. We still don't know if this trip is worth it, so there's no need t'get everyone in on it jus' yet.

“Straight up, we go out lookin' for stuff. I think if we each pick a spot, see what's around, then report back, then we can decide what t'do from there.”

They nod in agreement, an' we do jus' that.

I instantly know where I wanna start out. It takes some meanderin' through the long, wide open hallways, but I make it there.

My old room. I take my sword off my back, an' lean it against the door that closes behind me. Never bothered t'keep trinkets or souvenirs. The room is pretty barren. I was never one for decoratin'. Ain't no posters on the wall. Ain't no TV hangin' from the ceilin'. But at least it's got a bed.

That's where walk my way to. Then I skip that last step an' jump.

The mattress—yes, there's an actual mattress, an' it's oh so smooth—instantly forms around my back. I sink down in it jus' enough. My neck hasn't felt so at ease. My back feels like it's gettin' massaged by a thousand tiny lil' hands. An' is that heat? Oh I forgot I left the warmers on.

I really took this bed for granted. Havin' spent my nights on a cold-hard table'll make you miss what you had, an' I had it good. Lookin' around at this room, I had it real good. I had an actual closet. There're extra spacesuits in it. I know they still fit. I had a desk. I had a lil' personal fridge.

Best believe I'mma find a way t'take all this back on the pirate ship. Yup. Sho' nuff. An' most of it's preserved, too. So glad the pirate raid didn't make its way here. This room, for the most part, is untouched.

Oh crud, I should definitely get t'movin'. 'Bout t'nod off fo'real. I can feel my eyes gettin' heavy. Can hear my breathin' gettin' louder. My vision's jus' about faded.

Y'know what? Staak it. I'm out.

BOOM

Of course there's a boom. Of course there's a quake. Of course the room shakes so violently that the loose items in the closet come tumblin' down. I don't get sleep. I don't get no break. There's always somethin' out there tryna ruin it.

I groggily sit upright. Another violent quake jerks me awake. After steppin' outta bed, I make my way t'the door. Put my sword back on my back.

What the world is it this time? Did one of those fools set off a bomb?

I hear a beep come in through my helmet followed by a concerned Scion, “It would be in everyone's best interest to abandon the ship, immediately.”

Before even gettin' the chance t'respond, this giant, overgrown, tentacle comes rammin' in through the ceilin'. It jus' about cuts me in two. If I was standin' a few inches t'the left, it definitely woulda pummeled me.

I look over an' see half the room is gone. An' by gone, I mean, I can see outter space. The suit I'm wearin' instantly adjusts for the drastic change in temperature, which I'm oh so thankful for. I'm also thankful I didn't take off my helmet, cuz not havin' oxygen woulda been terrible.

I look behind me, hopin' against hope that at least one thing made it out alive. If I could jus' get this win, I'd be – Dang. Of course not. I don't get the win. Not that easy.

My old bed is in shambles. Completely, utterly, an' wholeheartedly destroyed. Dang it.

“What the crud!?!”